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timmy8843
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Name: Timmy
Country: United States
State: New York
Metro: Staten Island
Gender: Male
Interests: Basketaball always come in first. I could not tell you how much I love it. If you know me, you know that I am a big fan of Kobe Bryant and his Los Angelas Lakers. My second interest is Music. Music makes me relax myself in the middle of a hot boring day. Most of the time thou, I listen to music bc it refreshes good and bad memories of my life. : P
Expertise: Crossing kids over in a basketball court.
Sing and bring surprises to my love.
Make all of my friends smile big.
Talk to you even if I am tired.
Laugh at absolutely anything.
Talk really loud.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  CoCaColaTiMmY
Member Since:
2/17/2004
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| So I fucked up and the story obviously didn't end. I just don't want to write anymore because it hurts too much to write. Every single details remind me of how bad I am and how much I still miss her. I am scared to lose Mai. Do you know that? I miss you so much. My life is so empty without you.
I am going to take a break again ... ... ... sorry ; (
just wait!
I will be back!!! | | |
| Okay. I am at work, probably shouldn't be doing this. This summer I have been working in California for an internship. I have never thought I would come here, which is 2905 miles away from home and from Mai. Today is actually my last day at work and it is kinda sad to say goodbye to everyone. I have spend almost every day in the past two months with them and it sucks to leave. It has to be done. I know what I need to do and right now, I want to go home. Anyway, let's continue my story ... I decided to stay with her and she was the probably the best girlfriend ever. She goes to school in Boston and I go to New York. It is about a 5 hours drive, but a 10 hours bus ride. She would literally take the 10 hours bus ride just to see me and make sure I am happy all the time. She please me like it is her job, her responsibility and her love of her life. I started to feel a little bit weird becuase I still have mix feelings about everything at that time. I didn't know if she is the right girl for me, still misses my ex a little bit, felt that I can get any girl I want and want to try out anything. I was young, immature and definitely, a horrible boyfriend. Even though I did a lot of cute things for her, I know it would never have cover how horrible of a boyfriend I am. I took her for granted and I did not treat her the way I should be. I hardly care about how she feels and I was mean to her. Never the less, it was still early and I still really like her. I did all I could to make sure she is having the best time with me as well. Slowly, a year has passed and we are still together. I remember that summer, 2008. I have to take summer classes in my school, which is 3 hours away from home. She would lie to her parents and make up some excuses to come up and visit me. I was really happy and I started to have a really strong feelings for her. I started to feel like she might be the one and I make sure I do the cutest thing for her. I made her a video during my finals week and made her a lot of lovely gifts. It was a very romantic summer we spent. I still treasures every single thing we did over that summer. We lived together for a few days and then she will be back to New York. She would come back up and visit again next time when she is free. Summer passed by quickly and everything is looking very good. I feel like I am the luckiest man in the world. I go into my junior year feeling like I could do this. I could stay with this girl forever, but I missed out the fact that I am a greedy, inconsiderate, horrible person. I thought I knew actually what love is, but obviously, I did not experience anything yet and I took a lot for granted. College comes around ... party ... drinking ... girls. They never go well together when there is a guy that is lonely and feel like he would have his girlfriend forever. A typical frat guy who think that they are the shit and they don't have to care for anybody. The kid that promised himself not to let anybody to hurt him, but did not know that he could hurt people too and break people's heart. He has turned himself into a monster that forget what love is, what love means, what love do to people and most importantly, who does he love? That's me. Slowly, I distance myself further and further away from myperfect girlfriend and thought that I could get away with anything. Little did I know, nothing runs away without noticing. There is always that one spot people will find out and take my ugly mask away ... to be continue ... I still don't know why I am writing all these because every time I drop another word, it feels like a knife stabbed me a little bit harder. I never realise how deep of a hole I dug myself into that I don't know I can get back out. I needed someone right now. Mai, where are you? I just needed a simple hug. You give the most comfortable hug ever. ; ) I miss you so much this whole morning. | | |
| It has been a really long time since I last wrote. This time I want to tell a story, but who am I fooling? Obviously this story is about me! I don't know why I have never update about my life after my first relationship, because they should be memories to be kept forever. Good or Bad?!
For those of you who have never read my previous blog, I fell in love during my senior year of high school and I thought I met the most perfect girl ever. Cute, Charming, pretty, bad enough to hold on to your heart. We fell in love in the most classic way possible, but obviously, things never go the way you want because then it wouldn't be a story. Anyway, we broke up and I was hurt. I was left in a place that I have never been before. I was still 18 and I have never experience love before. I don't know what it is like and first time heart broken is totally a huge deal for me in my life. This is where I left off in my Xanga blog and haven't wrote for a while. I did not feel anything for anyone anymore. I felt lonely and never want to be hurt again. I don't want to be so close to someone because I am afraid to get hurt again.
I am not here to tell a story about me and my first love, but I am here to tell you another story that has now become the most important of my life. Her name is ... hmm ... lets call her Mai. I met Mai though family friends in her aunt anniversary dinner. After that, we became pretty good friends. We hanged out a few times in the city, watched a few movies together, but I never have a thing for her because she was my friend. Mai is a nice girl, but she was definitely not my type at that time. Don't get me wrong, she is definitely not ugly. She is the nicest person I have ever met and she was the simplest girl that would never harm a fly. She was as pure as a little girl and the most trustworthy friend you can have. Obviously, a FRIEND!
Summer of 2007 in Hong Kong, we knew that we are both going to Hong Kong together for vacation. We planned out that we are going to do something meaningful in Hong Kong. We decided to teach little kids english and basically, a camp councilor. It was fun and we have a great time with the kids. Days gone by and we hang out with each other more and more. We can joke about anything, laugh about anything, and talk about anything. It was just so comfortable with her that I do not feel any awkwardness with her. I feel like I could tell her anything and she would not judge me. Slowly and surely, I start to like this girl. I didn't know how this Mai feel at the time, but I felt that she kinda likes me too. In a dark cold night, Kowloon park, a very sketchy bench, I leaned on her shoulder and looked at her the most sexy way possible. JK, it is not word porn! We made out ... ... ...
It was kinda awkward at first because I wasn't expecting a relationship so soon. I was still scared to open up my feelings with another person and I don't even know how much I like her. She was really nice and she did not rush anytime. She did not mention once about forcing me to be in a relationship. We hanged out for the rest of the summer and we are getting closer and closer to each other. btw ... Mai is a year younger than me and her birthday is two days after my first girlfriend, same year! Weird?! Things start to shift course after we went back to US. She start mentioning about being in a relationship and making sure I put in a relationship status on Facebook. I was not very fond with the ideas at first and repeatedly try to push that idea further and further. Finally, one day, I decided that it is not fair for her and maybe it can turn out to be something really great and special. Probably one of the best mistake that I have made. I was confused, but at that time, all I care about is not getting her upset anymore. She deserves a chance and I know I like her. I know that if I give it time, maybe she is the one for me. Who knows? ...
to be continue ...
I am going to stop here, but continue our story later. I can't believe I start writing this story down because it is late at night. I am 2905 miles away from Mai and she would probably never ever read this. She might never know how I feel now. We are having some issues right now and I have been in my worst days possible the past two days. I am hurt and this time I know I did it. I hurt her and me at the same time, but I believe in us. I know what my heart is telling me. It is never too late if you are willing to make up. right? I just want her to know that I really love her right now and I will wait for her as long as possible.
Sweet Dream Mai. I miss you so much ... ... | | |
| Omg ... i am feeling mad lazy. I always say I will upload pictures, but damnnn ... I am too lazy since my computer is not hooked on the internet. All my pictures are in my computer, so I need to upload to my flashdrive to my uncle's computer in order to upload all my pictures online. Sorry for those people who are waiting. I will try my best. Anyway ... update for saturday and sunday. Saturday ... I went to my grandmother's house. I really wanted to play majong with my family bc they usually all come in saturday to visit my grandmother and visit her as well. Today was special ... not one come. Just my aunt, my dad, my grandmother, and me were there. We have four people to play majong, but my grandmother doesnt want to play. Thank god my uncle came. We play majong for an hour until his wife picked him up. I ended up winning my uncle, my dad, and my aunt. Mad proud of myself - bc they are mad good excepy my aunt. I ended up inviting my dad and my aunt to eat tea break. At night, my daddy brought me to a steak places. It was mad good and I have a great time with my daddy. I havent really spend time with him so I am glad I did it. Sunday, I went to ocean park. It was okay. Again .. I took a lots of picture or my friend Linda took mad pictures of me, her, and her lil brother. Goshhh!!! Yea I will try to upload those pictures later bc she had those pictures and she is going back to US tom. I wont be getting those pictures until I am bac. Anyway .. Have a safe trip Linda. I have great fun with you the past two weeks teaching lil kids. Thanks | | |
| I am really sad ; ( I miss all my kids from my summer english class. I love all of them. I am going to upload all the pictures asap to late you all see their cute faces. I love you guys ; p I am just really sad right now, really dunt know when can I see them again. | | |
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http://web.csie.chu.edu.tw/~cs87680/
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